Yet Tubi is such a fly-by-night operation that the video progress bar overlaps the subtitles. But I wanted subtitles on for these screencaps, because “we’re starting to look like the double dorks” is the most subtle and well-written line of dialogue in this movie. That’s probably not the biggest deal, and I’ll do my best to crop it out for most of these images. I’m not sure if something is wrong with my version of Tubi - like it knows that I will only use it to watch terrible video game movies from several decades ago, and cannot bring itself to respect me for that decision - but the UI does not disappear while you’re watching. Tubi is like the Discover card: Barely accepted. It might be true, but there is no pride in that boast.

And that’s a little like claiming you could beat the shit out of any child in the chemotherapy ward. Go ahead, check.įirst I should explain that I am now very poor, and so am watching the movie on Tubi, which is perhaps the best of the free streaming services. We’re here to talk about the Double Dragon movie, which was so ‘90s you are now wearing rollerblades. I am now on several watchlists.)Īnyway, this is not about the video game series. I had to search “Double Dragon Girlfriend Punch” to find it, and that’s how Google translates the name of a brutal Chinese human trafficking gang. (By the way, I hope you appreciate that gif. “I don’t need to see a loving pixel render of a woman getting punched in the gut so hard she partially digests her spine.” “I’m like 8 years old,” I tried to explain to the arcade cabinet. The Double Dragon series left an indelible impression on me as a child, mostly because this is the opening scene.

Double dragon video game final scene